Don’t Know What to Say? Try These Tips
Sometimes the best advice is simply to listen.
Please don’t say: "I don’t know how you handle it, I just couldn’t do it!" Think about what the family is facing and realize that they simply have no choice but to do everything they can to protect their child. In fact, many families may not be “handling it” at all as they wander through the haze of hospital rooms, surgeries and drug therapies for their children. Although they may have a smile on their faces as they talk to you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t cry in the nights, worried to death about their child. Sometimes the best advice is not to “say” anything, but to simply listen.
Before you visit or call, make a small mental list of things happening at school, in the neighborhood, at church, the latest scores from the baseball, hockey, basketball or football team. Remember to ask about their hobbies, work, and other children and family members... and don’t forget to ask the parents how they are doing. But most importantly, be sure to make the phone call or visit – write down a schedule on your calendar to remind you. Families of cancer patients often feel like they "have the plague" since so many people don’t call to simply keep in touch.
Take a few minutes to talk with the child. They also need to have friends to discuss the many unknowns going on in their lives and to stay in touch with their friends, schoolmates, and other activities.
Finally, cancer treatment is long. It is crucial not to abandon a family as time passes. Be diligent and support the family for the duration of the treatment. It can be devastating to a family to have wonderful support at time of diagnosis then feel alone during the long months that cancer treatments can often endure.
